Back to School

The cafeteria is hopping today with post Spring break, heavily sugared kids.  Nearly all of the kids have chocolate or candy of some kind in their lunches.  One little girl's lunch consists of two mini snickers bars, a package of chocolate pop-tarts and a strawberry milk (for variety's sake I assume).

I ask a little boy what he did over Spring break.  "Oh, I went to Mi-Maw and Po-Po's.  They have a goat named Sniffles."

Another little girl answers in a surprisingly disheartened tone, "I played with my cousins the whole week." "That sounds exciting," I say.  "Not really. They only live around the corner and last year we went to Disney."

When a little boy hears me asking about Spring break he gestures with a wave of his arm and shouts out in a sing-songy voice (a la Oprah Winfrey introducing a guest)  "Myyyy beach house had an elevatoooooooorrrrrrr!"

I ask a Kindergarten girl if she did anything fun over break.
"Yeah, we went to see Mount Vernon!"
"Oh, George Washington's house. That is exciting.  What was your favorite thing about Mount Vernon?"
"The toilets."

A little girl with a very elaborate hairdo approaches me on the way back to her table.  "Ummm....." and then she pauses for a bit.
"Can I help you with something?" I ask.
She blurts out in an almost desperate voice, "The water in that fountain is too cold for my mouth."
Just to mess with her I say, "Oh, that must be because you drank out of the "colder" fountain.  The one on the other side is much more tepid."
She walks away looking confused.

Approaching two rowdy boys who cannot keep their hands to themselves, I catch the eye of a girl observing them.  After I tell them to cut it out the little girl says, "Yeah, and tell them to stop talking about beer and butts, too."
So I do.

A 3rd grade boy is studying the labels on the back of his chips and fruit snacks.  Thinking that this is perhaps an epiphany moment for him and he is just beginning to realize all the chemicals and artificial stuff that is in his processed food snacks, I say to him, "I know. Scary, isn't it?"
"Yes!" her replies, "I mean all my food has it's own Facebook account and my mom won't let ME get a Facebook account!"